The Perfect Blog

The perfect blog…

Perfection - the action or process of improving something until it is faultless.

Can you think of anything that is the epitome of absolute perfection? When you think of that person who always looks so perfect, never a hair out of place, is that perfection to you? That model with the perfect body, is there absolutely nothing wrong with it? Not even a stray blemish? If you really looked, or thought about it, I think you’d have to admit that not everything was absolutely perfect. Flawless. Faultless.

And I’d agree. I hate the use of the word perfection. To me, it implies that there’s nothing left to improve. That’s it. And that’s totally unrealistic. And unobtainable.

If people strive for perfection, then I find more often than not, that they’ll never achieve what they want to. That the bar is set too high. Because there is nothing in this world that is perfect. So I’m banning the word.

I find the concept of being perfect confusing. Why try and be something that you can’t? What’s the point? Too much time spent on getting something 'perfect' will more often than not end up in not actioning anything at all! Because it feels impossible.

But why am I banging on about perfection? To me, it’s something that is used far too often by coaches and teachers. We’ve all heard the classic ‘practice makes perfect’ right?

Using that phrase is setting our clients, players or our children up for massive upset.  When they find out they can’t be perfect what do you think that does to their ambition and confidence?

We should all be looking for progress in whatever we are practicing.  We should be enjoying the journey.  Practice should make progress!

I’ve been discussing this idea of perfection with a few friends of mine, and wanted to share them here. And you’ll see why, from here on in, the idea of perfection is being banned if you are in my presence.

Ali Hollands of Inspired to change Hypnotherapy (Maidstone) – friend and also client explains in a far more coherent way than I do -

“As a clinical hypnotherapist, I encounter many people who have an unhealthy desire for perfection and I say unhealthy because perfectionism is a symptom of an anxious mind.  The part of the mind that controls our survival instincts demands perfection because only by being 'perfect' can we be safe. Arguably we can never be 100% perfect so we can never be 100% safe.  The cycle continues. 

“The trick to beating a need to be perfect is to change focus; by focusing instead on improvement as the goal you will succeed far more often that you fail, sending the very, very clear message to that anxious part that actually it can leave off because, guess what - you've got this!”   

Take another example. Recently, I saw an old friend from university pop up on Facebook.  His name is Tom Bates of Tom Bates Coaching.  Since university, he has been on an amazing journey and now works in professional football as a sports psychologist and coach.  Football, a place where perfection, or at least the idea of it, is everywhere.  I thought I would get a different angle from Tom, and I certainly did. He really made me think about a few things – here’s a transcript from our conversation.

“In any journey two things will change.  The first being the creator – or the person in charge of that journey and the second being the end destination or end point.  We will change as we grow and evolve and the map or goal posts will move.

“What we have to remember is that we have everything we need to succeed already in us.  Mass media and advertising will always suggest to us that we are not enough or not ‘perfect’.  That we need their product to make us better or ‘perfect’.  It’s simply not true.  Do not pay attention to this b******s!

“All we need to succeed is to wake up and realise the willpower and desire is already inside of us.  It is our job as coaches to bring that out, to delve inside and stop looking for outside influences.”

I follow an awesome coach named Mark Coles on social media. I got in touch with him and he said I could use his post as a contribution.  For me this sums up everything – from training, to business to relationships and is a great place to end this perfect blog.  Follow Mark here……

If you take nothing else from my musings, please remember this moving forward.

Progress over perfection every time.  Enjoy the journey and strive for better.